I found some inspiration! Woo!
This is the good kind of inspiration too. Not like my usual kind where I watch Jackass 3D then get inspired to throw my midget friend into a pile of cacti.
If I had a midget friend I would Cherish our friendship. The members of jackass don't know how lucky they are to have midgets at their disposal.
ANYWAYS. My inspiration is me. I was reading back over my first poorly edited post from like 5 minutes ago and realized something. Not everyone understands why the state of Georgia is so awful, or if you didn't catch my sarcasm why it's a nice place. Well I feel that I should explain.
Georgia has been a wonderful place since day one. What my deep south education has taught me so far is that Georgia was started as a buffer colony, or to put it in non-classroom terms: A state where they sent all the retards and drunks in hopes of keeping the Spanish from traveling through it and taking over the colonies.
Now you're probably thinking what I was at first "That was in like the 1700s why does that still affect us?" surely by now we would have caught up with the other states.
Well thanks to the wonders of modern day science we have learned that 300 years of incest will destroy any theory.
But how bad is it?
Have you ever heard Sarah Palin try to talk without a pre-written speech? Now imagine her drunk, with a ridiculous neon orange hat, a camo jacket, inside a sports bar. Multiply that by 10 and you know just how bad Georgia is. Your average Georgian male finds it necessary to wear hunting attire EVERYWHERE because there might be a deer in Taco Mac and if that's the case they need to blend in with the bush and sneak up on it. Well at least that's the most logical theory I have come up with so far for wearing camo indoors.
Of course this is nothing more than a stereotype but it's a very very common stereotype here in Georgia. Other characteristics of the Georgian stereotype include:
-Being a Bigot
-Being obsessed with cars that that drive around in circles and are covered in stickers
-Wasting money on the value of your truck by putting lift kits and other ridiculous things on them
-Enjoying mud of all forms
-Divorce
-Illegitimate children
-Not being able to read
-Owning overalls
-More Divorce
-Becoming more stupid when upset
-Use and over use of the word Ain't
-Use of double, triple, quintuple negatives (Hey'der Billy Joe ain't you got no tractor in your shed ain't ya?)
-Becoming obsessed with football teams they will never have any part of
-Becoming obsessed with colleges they will never attend
-Believing in Bigfoot
-Denial of being the worst state
Now these stereotypical rednecks don't roam around all of Georgia. Although they claim the majority there is one place they don't dare step foot. In the center of all this illiterate chaos lies the capital of the redneck opposite. Atlanta, Ga the global capital ghetto. The only place where it is very likely that you can and will get stabbed in the throat if you are carrying more than $10 on you.
So Georgia is the state of opportunity.
You are given two
-Go live in the woods with a bunch of deranged rednecks equip with riffles
-Go live in Atlanta and live everyday like it's your last because it probably is
You're probably thinking to yourself why live here?
Simple. Shitty economic area = cheap stuff.
It's like people who save up a little bit of money then go to Mexico to live rich. Only difference is in Mexico they have a name for there language. Here in Georgia the rednecks don't.
Well the more I type the more this post is losing it's point. If you don't live in Georgia I hope you learned a little something and never want to come visit.
I would apologize to any rednecks that I might of offended but it's not like they would be able to read this anyways.
No comments:
Post a Comment